10 Days....

I don't even know where to begin tonight.
I have so much to say, yet I'm at such a loss for words. I'm staring at this screen wondering what part of the last 4 days of my life do I share? Do I share the part that is all about Kenya? Do I share the part of the devastating news I received one perfectly normal morning? Do I share the part where I loved seeing my family, yet I couldn't wait to leave because I hate saying goodbye? Do I share the part of seeing old friends, and I'm forced to look at my life and questions whether progress was really ever progress at all? Do I share the part where I had to leave my best friend in PA in Ohio? Do I share the part where I came back to reality and life happened today like it did last Thursday... it just happened...? I stare at this screen and wonder if I just woke up from an insane dream...

I don't even know. And here I am at a loss for words and my emotions are for the first time in days somewhat under control (which could have to do with the large plate of cold spaghetti I just ate). All I know is I serve a good God, and He has not brought me here to abandon me!

I'm drained. And I want to fight, but this isn't my battle! This is the Lord's battle. And as much as I want to meddle in it, I have to stop everything I am doing, turn it over to Him and wait and trust. That's it.
But on the other scoop, I just want to cry and beg and beg that the reality of man will not be the reality of God.

God help me to see all the impossibilities of this world as possibilities for you! I can't do it on my own! I never could and I never will!

.::Kenya's Calling::.