Shirissa

I know this has nothing to do with my trip to Kenya, but this is a really pressing engagement on my heart which I feel is necessary to share. Shirissa Seibert was probably one of the most inspirational teenagers I'd ever met at Lakeside. I'd like to say it had nothing to do with her amazing talent God had given her that allowed her stand out amongst the hundreds of kids, but I know that'd be a lie. She wasn't just talented; she was sweet, tender hearted, motivated, beautiful, and so genuine. She was also only 19.

I think you've caught on by now from my numerous uses of the word "was" that God chose to take her home earlier than we all expected. I need to be honest here. I was sad and shocked when I found out on Thursday. I really was. But now... now I'm just devastated. I remember the last time I sat and talked to her... we were just sitting at Lakeside talking and hugging each other. She had her head leaning against me as I played with her hair. She spoke such sweet words of encouragement and appreciation for me when I was the one truly inspired by her. I have no doubt I shared my honest feelings back. But the point isn't just to relive my last moment with her, but it's important to gauge the depth of how we impact people we hardly know at all.

Lakeside is a very unique and amazing place where everyone are friends who love each other so deeply, and encourage each other so endlessly, and pass no judgment because we are ALL there by the grace of God. Therefore, Shirissa knowing nothing about me, my past, or what I was doing the following week, told me she loved me. Ran full force to jump and hug me after not speaking for an entire year. She loved me because I loved Jesus for the same reason she did, and we shared she a ground and true common denominator that NOTHING ELSE MATTERED BUT THE LOVE OF JESUS.

I'm sharing this, because everyone needs to understand something. What we do here has no lasting meaning or lasting matter without "the Who" we love and "the how" we love Him. That's it. That's the only thing that matters here. And when you figure out how to love Him, the rest of the living for Him and sharing of His goodness just follows along right behind it.

You don't need to be a certain age to impact a life. You don't. Any age is impacting- 6, 75, or just 19. You can do it just as you are. Just like Jesus calls us to come as we are, then He will use us as we are. Man! I wish there were a better way for me to explain what I'm trying to tell you!

I'm going to miss her! I'm going to miss not seeing her then next time I go back to counsel those kids. I'm going to miss her every time I hear Angel; more than I did before I knew I'd never hear her sing those words again...

It's still not real to me yet. But I know what is real... The love of Christ. That's it. And if that's the only thing I can trust will be remaining as I lay my head on the pillow tonight, and, Lord willing, as it rises tomorrow, then that is all I will need.

"Lord,
Please use these words... I can't speak what needs to be said without your inspiration first. God, let this increase in a passionate life of impacting others carry through, not only going and coming home from Kenya, but even more vibrantly after returning and the years ahead.
I love you. You are an amazing God, I cannot praise you enough. Thank you for your grace and patience in my life. Use me wherever I am. I am nothing without you."

.::Kenya's Calling::.

Where was the beginning??

There is a time in ones life where we see ourselves developing into a person or role we never knew possible. When that moments strikes you, more times than not you encounter that "aha!" feeling.

I've been very blessed to have experienced this moment more than once in my life. It usually happens when I draw closer to God and He just changes me in subtle ways. I don't usually ever notice at first, but over time it hits me, "I want this so much and I don't even know where it came from!"

Well this is where Kenya came from.

I've travelled, I've helped with kids, but it began in 2005 at Lakeside. Missions that year was from Raise Praise Ministries and to help the communities in Grenada who were affected by hurricane Emily.

I knew then and there I was going to Grenada. I wanted so badly to go and help! I had a goal and I was going dead or alive. Well God knew I was going, too. Not only was I going on the 2006 trip like I had planned, but He decided to send me just 4 weeks after camp.

He did it all. And I went, and man, was my life just rejuvenated and different. I returned in 2006 knowing I would not be there a 3rd year. But I knew more than anything in my life that God was using my trip to Grenada to prepare me for something more--Africa.

In the midst of those Grenada years, a youth leader had mentioned wanting to move to South Africa for missions. I remember being so jealous because I wanted to go to Africa so bad! So I set my sights on South Africa.

Years go by and college happened and work happened and life happened, but I never let the passion of helping kids in Africa go. I couldn't. It's a part of me.

So when Wed, Aug 17 happened. I knew Kenya was going to happen.

Sort of...

I believe if God just handed us everything we ever wanted, we would never ever understand, nor appreciate its value. And we'd all be fat little spoiled "Christians" who consume all of God's blessings while undermining His ability, power and desire to change us into a greater people!

For example:

I LOVE CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES!!! OMG!!!

But I'm currently in a bet with my friend of who can go the longest without consuming the desired treats that we love the most. In this case, these are treats that aren't really good for us, but we'll omit that from our thinking right now...

But as you probably already figured out, I can't have chocolate chip cookies :(

I have to work through the temptations, question "why I am doing this stupid bet in the first place", and want, pine and beg for a tiny taste of a cookie. And at this point, I'm not even quite sure when I'll get to have another one again...

But when I do get one, man.... will I really really love my chocolate chip cookies now.

That's what God did with me and Kenya.

I saw it and I wanted it. I almost booked the ticket, but I had to wait. I got approval from one boss! So I prayed and fasted about it, so I knew this was what God really wanted for me. He answered. And I was going to Kenya.

Still I had to wait. And wait. And pray. And fast. And wait. And 100% stand on the promise that God was still allowing me to go to Kenya.

Finally I got approval from my other boss. And ooo weeee did that approval taste so much sweeter than the first! It's like having to go that month without that chocolate chip cookie.

But you know, that approval made we well up with tears, that approval showed me the wait was worth the gain I received from it.

It showed me, God knows exactly what He was doing. And He's blessing me by building my faith in the process.

Stand on his promises. He'll send you to your "Kenya" too.

.:: Kenya's Calling::.